I want to join the Mara Salvatrucha

I have been living L.A for almost two years now. I feel as though it's time to get respect on the streets. I get none, unless I start shouting like a madman about someone fucking up my soy latte at Starbucks. Then they give me a new one. That's about it. I can't freely cut people off on the 101, or just walk around the metal detectors at clubs. Thus, I decided that it was a good idea to join a gang. First, I thought joining the Bloods or the Crips was a splendid idea until I realized that they vanished when I was 12. So I decided to seek out the MS-13, also know as the Mara Salvatrucha. I talked with those guys and told them I have been to El Salvador surfing and eating pupusas (tortilla pancakes with beans and cheeses). They were not impressed. I went back to their corner the next day with some marker drawings on my face of 4 tears drops. Their reaction was serious. They asked me where I killed. I told them the tears stood for the four hard years I did at prep school in Connecticut. They were confused, and called me "loco chino." I was not pleased.