Mini Me Needs to Hire a New Stylist.

I consider myself a fashionable man. That doesn't mean that I read Vogue or go to the Beverly Center wearing a man bag. I am more sophisticated than that. I am a man who believes that one must be somewhat responsible about how the world perceives him. We all know the saying that one should not judge a book by its cover. But if you see my 30-year-old neighbors who rock cut-off Abercrombie & Fitch t-shirts and camo shorts motherfucking 365 days out of the year, you can judge them. It's totally fine. For fucks sake they are over 30.

What I am trying to say is that if they wore clothes that were more suitable for their age than high school jock apparel, maybe I wouldn't think they were so lame. Clothes we wear matter, the way we present ourselves matters in society. It is part of being an adult. For example, I have been looking for a few months now to buy a suit. A single breasted, dark navy suit. A dark navy suit without a doubt projects authority in a subtle manner, while a single breasted cut carries a simple clean shape.

The picture above is a good example of what happens when a man buys a wrong suit for his shape. First, a man should never wear a black shirt unless he's going to a funeral or work at a fusion sushi restaurant at The Grove like I once did. The whole fucking thing smells like soy sauce and shitty tippers. Second, a double breasted suit is never a good choice for Mini Me's shape. Double breasted cuts are best for very tall or built men, since it flatters height and build. It is never really good for short men, because it makes them look stocky and bulky, which will make them look shorter. I know Mini Me is short, but look how short Mr. Me looks in this picture. Or, maybe it's because he's dating a tall blond playboy bunny. I don't know. I wonder how they make love.

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